Netflix Sex/Life explores female infidelity in marriage

Tosin Omowole
4 min readJun 30, 2021


Sex/Life is a new series on Netflix featuring Sarah Shahi, Mike Vogel, Adam Demos and Margaret Odette. It is an adaptation of BB Easton’s book, 44 Chapters About 4 Men, by Stacy Rukeyser.

The show is about Billie, a sexually frustrated housewife with a near perfect husband and two children, who begins to crave the sexual adventures she had with her toxic ex boyfriend, Brad. She begins writing in her journal about her wild escapades with Brad, her husband finds out, and the story unfolds.

The main theme in this movie is the lack of appropriate communication in marriage and the imminent infidelity that follows. I think a lot of nonsense could have been avoided if Billie had communicated her desires with her husband, Cooper.

Cooper also did not communicate. He started off as someone who fulfilled Billies sexual desires. But then came the children, and the sex stopped? Why sir? He saw his wife as someone he would love, care for and pro create with, but not someone he could explore with sexually. In fact, he wasn’t the type for sexual adventure.

This isn’t his fault because Billie only showed him the part of herself that she wanted him to see; she never revealed her deepest darkest sexual desires. It just goes to show how women change their personalities to suit different situations. Billie wanted to be the perfect wife for Cooper and that was exactly what she portrayed.

It turns out, the boring wife act wasn’t for her either and she didn’t know how to communicate this with her husband, so she started fantasizing about the great sex she had with her ex boyfriend and decided to write her graphic thoughts in her journal. Of course Cooper found the journal, but instead of confronting her about it, he took it as a manual and decided “I’m going to blow her mind”. Well that didn’t last long. He couldn’t keep up, so he became really insecure, but instead of focusing on how to give her pleasure, he was too focused on being better than Brad and outdoing him sexually. Epic fail.

I loved Cooper’s immediate reaction to finding her journal. He took time out to process it and then tried to figure out how he could be better for her. She’s entitled to her thoughts after all. Now you know them so what can you do to fix it?

Cooper was perfect on paper but it was not enough to satisfy Billie’s quest for intimacy and fulfill her deepest desires. He’s not as sexual as she needs him to be, even though he tries. The quest for her past sex life only began to kick in because of the lack of sex in her marriage. She was only infatuated by the way Brad made her feel sexually!

I have a few questions:

  • Why do women love bad boys? Why are we so attracted to toxicity all in the name of excitement? Even when we find something good, we ruin it to return to toxic crap. God deliver us 😂
  • Do you think Billie would have been more fulfilled if her husband was more adventorous or just better in bed?
  • How can someone who had this much sex and this much excitement cope in a boring, sexless marriage? Is it possible?
  • Can the same person who gives you security in marriage, give you a thrilling sexual experience? Especially after you’ve both had children?
  • Will you choose security over great sex?

At some point, I became confused. What does Billie really want? Clearly she wants to eat her cake and have it; she wants the best of both worlds — the security but also the adventurous sex life, even if it means she has to be with both Brad and Cooper at the same time. I really don’t see this ending well for her but okay 👀.

I particularly like the realistic depiction of how women in marriage can become bored with their partners and seek adventures outside of their partners. We are used to seeing men cheat in movies, so this angle was quite refreshing to see. Women still crave love, attention and sex from their husbands even after having multiple children. It’s important for both parties to communicate with each other and satisfy one another in every way possible.

Besides the graphic sex scenes, the film was super engaging and there was actually a good story to follow, with lessons to be learned, unlike the 365 movie we watched last year. I’ll give it a 7/10 mostly because some of the sex scenes were unnecessary but I understand the need for them in order to make us understand the story.

Watch the trailer here:



Tosin Omowole

Here goes my journey to becoming an African storyteller…Nollywood, Tech, Relationships, etc